The Price of Being Complicit

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Before anyone gets offended, please think of this: these points and examples that I am including in this article put words to the very real systems of abuse, discrimination and exploitation that people in our society experience. 

Please take this as an opportunity to learn about the things that we women, the disenfranchised and the abused talk about among ourselves and wish for the rest of the world to understand.

We all agree that our society needs a change. Nothing will until we as individuals put our biases and our own assumptions about how the world works aside, and listen, and try to understand.

And if you experience any discomfort from reading this piece, please take a moment to evaluate where that discomfort comes from, and address it.  Continue reading

We Need to Talk About The Man-Child Epidemic

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This started as a response to Emma Lindsay’s story “Why Do Men Put So Little Effort Into Serious Dating?” and it got a little long.

Every time I try to venture onto a different platform, I feel like I have to give an overview of my personal experiences with men, respectability politics, and social expectations as a rule in order to legitimize that message, and that’s exhausting just to think about. Plus: trolls.

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Meet Julie

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(This is an old post from 2009. Julie has published a young adult novel, What to Say Next, due on July 11. Below is an interview for her first book.)

Julie Buxbaum, the lawyer turned bestselling writer, is following the success of her critically acclaimed book The Opposite of Love with the highly anticipated title, After You. Her sophomore novel, due out August 25th is already getting high praises, and if her debut novel is any indication, you wont be disappointed.

Julie was sweet enough to grant me an interview, so not only does she have beauty, brains, and a kick ass law degree, she also has time to talk to talk to the little guy (yes, I’m gushing. Sue me.) You can find her answers after the jump.

Too Big to Stream? By canceling sci-fi series @Sense8, is @Netflix going the way of cable?

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With their decision to cancel the sci-fi series Sense8 less than a month after season 2 premiered, and after a lackluster response to fans, the parallels between Sense8’s BPO and Netflix’s current business strategies are uncanny. 

Never Forget

Netflix’s humble beginnings as a DVD rental mail service was revolutionary. No longer did you have to go to a video rental store, hope they still had a movie you wanted to see, and wait in line. With Netflix, you could get your favorite movies in your mailbox, watch at your leisure, and not worry about the late fees.

That’s right kids. Back in the day if you kept a movie you’d rented after 3 or 5 days, you’d be hit with late fees. I’m not even going to talk about the crap you got if you didn’t rewind a VHS tape.

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Da struggle.

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That Whole Thing About My Old Apartment

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No matter how hard I try to not talk about myself, sometimes other people force my hand. So here we go again.

During the Valentine’s Day weekend of 2016, my apartment was flooded. My  apartment was and is managed by Aizer Realty, specifically by Joseph Aizer. I am making this information public because I have just found out today that Joseph Aizer and 147 Hamilton LLC have taken me to small claims court for unpaid rent, and at this point, there is no reason to be quiet.

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Bodega

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She knew him as one of the boys that liked to hang out outside of the bodega. He was always nice and she would always smile. But while she could recognize him, point him out from a crowd, she didn’t know his name.

One night she dropped her keys and it all changed. He held the door open for her when it happened, caught them in midair before she could react. They laughed. They talked, and it was as if they had known each other for years, so that hours later they were still sitting on her front stoop, dreading the moment they would have to say good bye.

They never did, instead making plans for the next night and the next, until they were spending every waking moment together.

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The 7 People You’ll Probably Argue With Online Now That Trump Has Been Elected President (And You’re A Liberal)

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It’s been little over a week since the presidential election. I feel like I’ve aged five years. After it was clear on Wednesday morning that Trump had in fact gotten the electoral vote, New York was in mourning. No one could look at each other on the train. I cried twice in public, and still now I keep trying to think of upsides.

(“There is no upside!” My  roommate tells me as I  type this. “It’s just terrible!”)

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Exes & Ø’s

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My father died last week, and after I got the news, I coped how I know best. I wrote about it, and the ensuing outpour of support was much more than I expected.

I thought that I would be socially punished for posting private things about my family and my time growing up. In part, this is why I hesitate when it comes to writing about my own experience, even though I have wells of information to draw from. So when friends near and far came out to give their condolences, I was truly touched.

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On Grief

Some of you may already know that my father passed away last night after a year-long battle with ALS.

Some of you may also know that I received the news from Facebook, or rather, from a Facebook post publicized by his pastor within hours of his demise, who I’m sure was given permission to share the news by my father’s wife, Miriam. Because being a good person only matters if everyone knows.

And so here we are.

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How Male Wish Fulfillment Went From James Bond To Donald Trump

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Daniel Craig in Casino Royale

During November of 2012, right after the release of the James Bond sequel Skyfall, Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen penned a hilarious opt-ed titled: James Bond and the new sex appeal. In it, Cohen, a middle-aged man himself, bemoaned the fact that Daniel Craig’s James Bond was a chiseled, muscled sex-god, and sadly, a Bond that no longer reminded him of himself. In his own words:

Craig is 44, but neither gravity nor age has done its evil work on him. Nothing about him looks natural, relaxed — a man in the prime of his life and enjoying it. Instead, I see a man chasing youth on a treadmill, performing sets and reps, a clean and press, a weighted knee raise, an incline pushup and, finally, something called an incline pec fly (don’t ask). I take these terms from the Daniel Craig Workout, which you can do, too, if your agent and publicist so insist. Otherwise, I recommend a book….

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