1. Just because I show interest in you doesn’t mean I want to be your girlfriend or wife. Sometimes it just means I’m bored and you’re a new and shiny toy.
  2. If I ask you a direct question and you dodge it, it doesn’t mean you’re slick. I know what you’re doing. Just because I ignore it doesn’t mean you’re fooling anyone. 
  3. If something is unclear, ask. 
  4. Don’t go on a hookup website when you already have a girlfriend simply because you’re starved for attention. 
  5. Don’t then tell your potential hookup you’re on a break with your girlfriend when your girlfriend has not agreed to said break. 
  6. Don’t then sell your potential hookup this idea that you might end up dating when you absolutely have no intention of doing so. I hope you learned your lesson, Gio. 
  7. Getting a woman pregnant to get her to stay with you is a massively dick move that you should burn in hell for. 
  8. Women are not interchangeable. 
  9. Hanging around a woman for years until she finally decides to give you a chance does not make you a “player” “sex god” or “shark”. It makes you a parasite. A vulture at best. 
  10. True “players”, “sex gods” and “sharks” don’t have to lie for sex. They usually can’t get out of the house without women throwing it at them. 
  11. Hi Ceasar. Miss ya, baby. 
  12. You can’t be a “player”, “sex god” or “shark” and then simultaneously be afraid of women. That’s just stupid. 
  13. Chances are, I’m smarter than you. 
  14. If I tell you to fuck off, fuck off. 
  15. Don’t try to manipulate me. Seriously: don’t. It never goes well for anybody. 
  16. Not every woman is looking to get a ring. I haven’t spent my entire life dreaming of becoming some man-child’s indentured servant and/or babysitter. 
  17. Newsflash: real life isn’t like the Honeymooners, The Simpsons, and/or Family Guy. Women don’t exist to stand around and roll their eyes while you act a fool. 
  18. I have my own life too. 
  19. I can do bad all by myself. 
  20. But I still like to get laid. 
  21. My bedroom does not have a revolving door and my vagina is not a public theme park. I like to focus on one partner at a time. Again, doesn’t mean I want to be your girlfriend, and if that’s too much for you to comprehend, seek help. 
  22. Studies show that men are happier after marriage and women are more miserable. So you’re literally playing games against your own benefit. 
  23. Studies also show that women get bored with the same partners quicker while men are happier with consistency. So joke’s on you, bro. 
  24. Don’t keep me hanging for years and tell me you’re not ready for a relationship. Two years of being told to wait is a relationship, albeit a shitty one. 
  25. Just because I give you extra chances doesn’t mean your games are working. It just means I’m hoping you’ll eventually get over your bullshit and act like an adult for once. 
  26. Sex isn’t something you “get”. It’s something you have with each other. 
  27. There’s nothing wrong with being single. If I want to be with you, it isn’t because I’ve been staring at my ring finger crying myself to sleep at night. It’s because I’ve decided you’re worth shaving my legs for.
  28. If I tell you I’m not interested and your reaction is to suggest I kill myself, something is wrong with you. 
  29. No one is so busy that they can’t reply to a text within a reasonable amount of time. After 24 hours, you’re officially an asshole. 
  30. It’s not guy’s choice. It has never been guy’s choice. We. Pick. You. Some women just have a higher tolerance for bullshit than others. Don’t believe me? Ask your mother.